


Love Yourself Before Anybody Else (plus size reader)

by Alycat42204



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst, BDSM, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Ignores Civil War, M/M, Multi, Reader-Insert, ignores aou, ignores endgame, ignores infinity, plus size, selfharm, sucidal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:01:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29970222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alycat42204/pseuds/Alycat42204
Summary: Y/N is in a relationship with the avengers but after awhile she feels them start to pay more attention to Tony and Natasha over her. It makes her insecure. She gets left alone a lot more than usual leaving her to her demons that were once gone when they all were there.
Relationships: Avengers Team/Reader
Kudos: 6





	Love Yourself Before Anybody Else (plus size reader)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic on here so please be nice. I have one on Wattpad but it's a drarry fanfic. My username is Geeky_Girl_22 if you do want to check it out! Thank you for reading! ❤❤

I look watched as they all laugh at something Tony has said. They were all out in the living room right now. They were drinking as a celebration after defeating MODOK once again. Loki is sitting in the arm chair nursing a fine asgardian win with Thor sitting on the floor next to him sipping something the looks closely related to whiskey. Natasha is sipping a vodka cocktail with Tony and Clint. Tony drinking whiskey and Clint drinking beer. Bucky and Steve both drinking the drink Thor is currently nursing from Asgard. I am just drinking a simple white rum. I need something hard after watch them be all so perfect all day.  
It feels like they don't even notice me. Even though I'm right here in front of them. I don't know if at this point I'm even in this relationship anymore. They haven't said anything specifically but the way they ignore my whole existence it feels like I am. I don't know what to do either. They seem so happy without me. it makes me feel like I'm just holding them down at this point. I'm not special. I meant them through my job at the Stark Industries. Apparently Tony noticed me in the RD apartment. I peaked his interest back then but not anymore.  
You see I'm a biochemist. I could leave and find somewhere new but who knows what my reputation would be like if I broke up with Tony and got fired instead of quit. No one would hire me. But if I'm being honest it wouldn't just bet that. I know that I would miss them more than I already do and I don't have the heart to actually leave. They were my saviors. And not just because they were the Avengers. They saved me from myself. I have been suffering from depression for as long as I remembered and they helped me feel happy. Now I don't know what to feel. I wake up and hope that one day they will notice me. I know that shouldn't. I'm smarter than this. I have seen this all before. But now that it's me I don't know what to do. I love them all so much it hurts.  
Soon they start heading towards the bedroom and they forget about me again. They don't even look at me. At that point I take several more shots and watch a movie, waiting for when the go to bed so I can sneak into the room and fall asleep with them. I hear Natasha and Tony and it sounds like they are having fun. As I sit there longer ion my drunken state I start to get too into my head. At this point it makes me scared. I know that being drunk makes me do irrational things. I feel like I don't feel myself start to get up after finishing the bottle and I start to head towards the bathroom. 

Triger Warning!!!!!

I look in the mirror and see my body. I take my shirt off and turn around and see my back. Roll after roll just mocking me. As I turn and look it seems like every imperfection is. Every little thin just screaming that I'm not worth a thing ion anyone's minds. That there will always be someone that doesn't like me because of my weight. Who am I to think that it's not one if them. What if they pity asked me to be here and that's why none of them pay attention to me. That's why I am treated like a ghost. I pull ma lighter out of my pocket. I have always hated blood so I always just burned myself. I look at the lighter in my hands. I light it and wait a few seconds. I then place it on my skin. It hurts but the pain has always felt so good. I look across my arm and see the past scars left from before them. I think about how long it's been since I've done this. I do it a few more times and put it back into my pocket

Trigger Scene Over!!!

I head back into the Livingroom and listen for noises. I don't hear anything so I head into the bedroom and see they have all fallen asleep. I slide into bed on the side they aren't on. Always count on Tony to get an unnecessarily large bed.  
I fall asleep fantasizing about them holding me in the middle of them and cherishing me like they used to to. unknown to me someone else was awake and saw me sneak into bed.


End file.
